i feel it all

Somewhere between 48th Street and Broadway, 

between the departure and the arrival, 

between her and me,

between then and now

I lost myself. 

I lost myself in a city strewn with hot pavement, wet trash, and smashed cigarettes.  

I lost myself in a city that never sleeps, never awakens, and never shuts up. 

I  lost myself in a city that loves itself.

A narcissistic partner and an abusive relationship waiting to happen. 

But in these moments where I believed that everything in my life was completely meaningless and unimportant compared to the glow of the lights broadway and of the neon signs outside my bedroom window, 

I found myself...falling in love lost with a city, a supernatural being, an entire aesthetic known only to those who have truly experience it....

and i never wanted to be found again. 

This is my New York, or rather, my first two weeks in it. 

my first new york rain, and what do you do during such an event? 

you drench yourself by dancing in it....obviously

But on nice days, you can go to festivals. And eat fried oreos, if you are really in the mood for it. Mind, i come from the fattest city in the world so i've had my fair share of fried foods. i was more interested in the farmer's market at union. the entire square smelled like basil and fresh tomatoes. so basically, my heaven. 

Colors of all kinds, i believe this was sheeps' wool woven into thread. 

Through it was hot as hell by the time it was noon, i still felt like this was worth it. South American arepa with mozt flair......nice, warm, tasty, delicious. Food got my mind off the weather.  

Of course, everyone has their own alternative methods of dealing with heat. i believe naps in a stroller works just fine. 

you've made your bed, now fuck in it

I used to take swim lessons in this pool when I was ten, now birds shit in it

And right now, a pool filled with bird crap makes perfect sense, as opposed to my life, which is not.

pigeons staring at suburbia through the fence. This is sort of the way I look at my surroundings everyday. The only thing I keep thinking about is leaving.

I leave for New York on Tuesday. There will probably be many posts and many stories to tell. I'm worried and a little scared. But I'm not sure why.
I've started seeing a new therapist, who i love. On our first meeting, she asked me if i trusted myself and my decisions....i don't. At the time, i really didn't know the answer. but the truth is, i don't. I believe in myself and trust in the future. but i don't trust myself.
I've lost control of most things in my life and now resort to trying to control other things and honestly, human beings.

On a brighter note, i am a weeds addict. this is a good thing, i promise. the new season starts tomorrow, so nobody bother me. i will be spending the evening packing, watching showtime, and freaking out over what happends to nancy and the gang.

new york days 3 and 4: bus shmuss

wow, im ridiculously behind in blogging my new york expirience. but here's what i did on days

and four.

I managed to get a quick snapshot of our flat on E 67th before i left.

so, on day 3 i went down to the International Center for Photography, which had a great and extremely informative Amelia Erhard exhibit and another exhibit honoring the great magnum photographer, David Seymour. yes, i pretty much cried.

I was supposed to meet my mom over at MoMA, but things sort of got messed up and i ended up spending a lot of time walking around the theatre district.

BREAD AND OLIVE, best felafel sandwich...hands down, amazing. if i could write an entire blog on my felafel, i would. but im not.

AHHH! japanese treats! i forgot the name of the place i got these at, but it was precious! i got red bean cakes and some really good .

So this is the dolce and gabanna poster gaby and i saw on the way to see Grey Gardens. It was HUGE and madison avenue. we laughed at it for like, a good 15 minutes. clearly.

After the play, we all headed over to hot and crusty. our favorite little late night food shack.

Day Four:

morning, rocky.

you know, hanging in the garden after a nice rain fall.

YES! day four west village goods! after pretty much memorizing the bus map, the oyer women clan headed over to chelsea. [brgr] was the shit. hands down. everybody really enjoyed it and so did me and my veggie burger........and sweet potatoe fries.

BILLY's BAKERY! now i can officially declare my dedication to dessert blogs. its vanilla butter cream. to be honest, i remember the people more than the food at billy's. i loved every single person that worked there and walked through the door.

the nyc bus comment box

New York City Trip Day One and Two: Welcome to 332 E 67th Avenue

you never forget your first time in new york. you're nervous and excited and confused and worried that everyone will think you look like a tourist.
i have to say that i took new york with a little too much fervour last time, but that doesnt mean i didnt feel a need to memorize the subway maps and check for updates on nymag.com on this visit.
This year, gaby, mom and I are staying in a rented apartment in mid-east village. is quite lovely and super close to all the museums and trisha is very much enjoying the close proximity to central park. Ive also decided that this trip would include going to as many museums as possible and to take hold of my inner new york foodie.

Day One

This is my mother walked up the stairs from our apartment. We arrived there at around noonish so that we had most of the afternoon left.We rented it from the funniest guy ever. He kept ranting on about saving energy and he kept closing his eyes as he spoke as if it pained him to look at us. He reminded me so much of kramer from seinfeld, looked like him too.

This is the neighbors dog, Rocky. He is incredibly cute and likes to sit on the balcony and wait for us to get home.

HOT AND CRUSTY!!! i love this place. So, the first meal we had in new york was slightly screwed. my mom and i originally decided to make a passive aggressive decision to go to "China Fun" but neither of us really wanted to go. We found this place and immediately decided we loved it. Cheap and good spinach pizza and the pastries were lovely too.

oooerrrr cupcake. this wasnt the best cupcake ive ever had, but it wasnt bad. it definetly had this weird texture, like it was made of cornmeal. though, it strangely melted in your mouth in a good way.

our new home is across the street from a elementary school. here is a girl waiting for her mom after school.

look whos looking precious on second avenue.

after lunch, my mom and i basically just walked around and got to know the east side. We stayed close to the theater district last time. Then we went back to the flat and slept for 3 hours.

okay, this was at a puerto rican restaurant called Sofritos i heard about from NYmag. it was AMAZING, i mean, the food was brilliant. The ambiance and decor of the place was stunning and the service was fantastic. The owner of the restaurant went around to every table to see how everyone was doing and they had these delavega quotes painted all over the restaurant saying things like, "this moment is more precious than you think" and "be mindful even if your mind is full."All the food was great, but the greatest part were these shrimp appetizers that came on smashed plantains...omgomogmogm it was great. and the papas fritas, dont get me started. Oh, and this is the first time i ever saw a waiter use a crumber, you know one of those stick things that looks like a metal log cut in half to scrape crumbs of the table. i was impressed.

ANNNDDD tasti-d-lite for dessert! oh come on, sex and the city applies to every part of my life. well, my life in new york that is.

back at the apartment! and the end of a good day.

Day Two

Le Pain Quotidien for breakfast, dont you wish they had one of these chains in houston. Gaby got hot chocolate, look at that cup. i love these cups, gives a good excuse to put your elbows on the table so you can sip it bowl style.

After breakfast we headed to the Whitney to see the Summer of Love exhibit, which everyone liked becasue everyone likes to look at hippie themed posters and listed to beatles songs on their museum audio players.

Later, we walked around for a bit and had a late lunch at Viand Cafe, which i had also heard about from NYmag.com. I literally had the greatest omelet of my life. goat cheese and vegetable with egg whites. at first i was turned off by the whole diner feel, but the greek owner and extremely good food reassured me that Viand was worthy of that nymag recommendation. After lunch, i left my mom and gaby to see the other museums as they played in central park.

Okay, i actually only went in the Guggenheim to use the restroom. i didnt really like the sound of the exhibit there, so im going to hold off until its free on friday. So i walked to the Frick and took a break to watch the peeps at the Met.

i just like kids chasing pigeons. who doesnt?

so these kids were playing in what appeared to be a drained fountain. however, penny searching is an extremely important exercise that must take place no matter what the circumstances may be.

This is jarred, hes pretty much a master at the whole penny treasure thing.

So i got hungry and got this dulce de leche thing at dean and deluca. it was not that good and the cashier woman as well as the coffee guy were both extremely rude.

before heading into the Frick, i took a short cut through central park and found these kids playing this water bottle explosion game. this is some of the boys trying to catch the water bottle after it is rocketed off the water spout.

I actually really really enjoyed the Frick Collection. the Vermeer, OH THE VERMEER! and the cezanne peach picture and all these french and flemish paintings and whatnot. el greco was there too.

more little kids waiting for their parentals. only this kid was azn and had a roly backpack so he gets extra lover points.

I waited, for pretty much ever for mom and gaby to get back from what was apparently, an uneventful journey to bleecker street. but thats what happens when you dont research where your going! They had to go see Spring Awakening (im seeing it later with a friend) so i was left to my own dinner plans. Although a nice russian man named Sasha asked me to dinner on 1st Avenue, i just decided to go the grocery store to buy the goods i needed for the next couple of days.

LOOK WHO WAS WAITING FOR ME WHEN I GOT BACK!