autumn

Its autumn in new york and i love it...kind of. 

My mother calls me almost every afternoon, asking me how the weather is and if i'm still alive. The answer usually goes something like, "its really fucking cold and kind of raining. And its really fucking windy...and yes, i'm alive." 

Everyone is starting to wear those MichelinMan coats, gloves and scarves and other things I don't own yet because I'm from Texas and those sort of things aren't necessarily required when the temperature never gets below 70 degrees. 

I realize I haven't blogged in a while, thats probably because college was roasting me alive for a good two weeks. Now things are finally starting to get a little easier and I have more time to do things I actually like. 

For the past two weeks, my boyfriend Logan and I have cooked each other dinner. Each Saturday after breakfast, we walk to the farmer's market in union square to pick up fresh ingredients (mesclun, onions, peppers, goat cheese, etc.) and then go to food emporium (because wholefoods is way too overpriced and trader joe's makes me claustrophobic)  to pick up everything else. its probably my favorite night of the week, even more so than caturdays. 

Here is the tiramisu I made last week. I didn't beat the egg whites stiff enough, but it still ended up pretty good. I was scared it was going to turn into tirami-soup. Luckily, it tasted pretty great, especially with the expresso chocolate we put on top. The rest of the meal consisted of falafel, salad, warm pita bread, and little bits of things you normally put on falafel sandwiches (pickels, onions, tomatoes, hummus, etc) mind, we also made the falafel, granted it came from a box and all we had to do was add water, but still...i feel like making falafel is an accomplishment worth noting. 

This week, we decided to make a salad with pomegranate seeds, peppers, onions, mesclun, and fried goat cheese. it was good, like, really reallllly good. honestly i didn't do much in the kitchen this time. Logan wouldn't let me. Instead I dj-ed and danced around my kitchen whilst logan did all the dirty work. 

pom porn

Red peppers cost 3.75 at the farmers market....but i mean, its organic and worth it. plus that pepper is like, the size of a small child's head. 

The finished result, goat cheesy pomegranate goodness. 

Here are some other pictures from the farmers market

orchids

this wasn't in our salad, but i love the way the watermelon radish slice looks transparent in the sun. 

A little girl in a red dress. 

i own a turkish coffee set, so i figured it might be nice to make some with the orange chocolate trifle Logan made. Nearly 1/3 of it was whipped cream, so needless to say, i throughly enjoyed it. 

this is it, we did it

scenes from one of the greatest nights of my entire life. 

shivers

i could go into explicit detail about what i did this weekend, but i'm not going to bother. 

mainly because i don't have the time and i still have no idea who may or may not be reading this blog. i should also really be studying for a science midterm (oh college) but im really trying to avoid anything involving dendrites, ventricles, or axon terminals right now. 

i will say that this weekend (and in new york, weekends always start on thursdays...even though i have a class on friday...which i skipped this week, because,well...you'll see) was the weekend of parties. 

i don't think i really had a good break from it so i've sort of been chugging down ibuprofin, coffee,red bull, and falafel sandwiches for the past 72 hours. not to mention i'm getting to more than half a pack a day, which was the limit i had set for myself earlier this semester. 

anyway, i sort of did more running (not really, but figuratively) around new york this weekend. went downtown, then to brooklyn, went farther down bleecker than usual, little italy and i celebrated good ol' thirsty thursdays on the lower east side. (but only after the vp debates,obviously)

brooklyn was good, made a note to self to go to brooklyn more often. still haven't hit up williamsburg yet.

hot chip after party was on bleecker, which sort of ended up being slightly ridiculous. mainly because nobody knew where anyone else was for about 45 minutes and i had these mad hiccups at one point. 

and we celebrated a friends birthday in little italy at a place called Angelo's, where we all ate enough to have food babies the size of canada by the end of the meal. 

honestly, i'm really looking forward to next columbus day weekend because ive got four days off to....study.....but i highly doubt that will actually happen.

i feel it all

Somewhere between 48th Street and Broadway, 

between the departure and the arrival, 

between her and me,

between then and now

I lost myself. 

I lost myself in a city strewn with hot pavement, wet trash, and smashed cigarettes.  

I lost myself in a city that never sleeps, never awakens, and never shuts up. 

I  lost myself in a city that loves itself.

A narcissistic partner and an abusive relationship waiting to happen. 

But in these moments where I believed that everything in my life was completely meaningless and unimportant compared to the glow of the lights broadway and of the neon signs outside my bedroom window, 

I found myself...falling in love lost with a city, a supernatural being, an entire aesthetic known only to those who have truly experience it....

and i never wanted to be found again. 

This is my New York, or rather, my first two weeks in it. 

my first new york rain, and what do you do during such an event? 

you drench yourself by dancing in it....obviously

But on nice days, you can go to festivals. And eat fried oreos, if you are really in the mood for it. Mind, i come from the fattest city in the world so i've had my fair share of fried foods. i was more interested in the farmer's market at union. the entire square smelled like basil and fresh tomatoes. so basically, my heaven. 

Colors of all kinds, i believe this was sheeps' wool woven into thread. 

Through it was hot as hell by the time it was noon, i still felt like this was worth it. South American arepa with mozt flair......nice, warm, tasty, delicious. Food got my mind off the weather.  

Of course, everyone has their own alternative methods of dealing with heat. i believe naps in a stroller works just fine. 

time is fleeting

when i woke up this morning, diego had perched himself inside of one of my suitcases. precious,but slightly obnoxious when your trying to pack half your life inside 2 duffel bags. 

ive got to be at the airport at 9 which means i have to wake up at 6 which means this blog will be short considering i will now get aboouttt 2 hours and 50 of sleep. but thats how much ill sacrifice for this blog. ill sleep when im dead...or in new york. 

Sometimes diego stares at our rainy windows for hours and hours until he becomes so precious that i have to throw him outside. 

My friend Alexandra and I share a ridiculous amount of things in common. For example we both love food blogs, books, and anything with cheese in it. we made pizza fresh from scratch the other day so sandra lee and her semi-homemade pizza dough can suck it. LOOK how delicious that is. imagine the smell....

mmmmmm...a close up just so you can feel really jealous about the fact that you weren't there to join us. 

shortly after eating this, i died in ecstacy. then was resurrected by the smell of fresh cut ginger and unagi. i love sushi, but love my friends who eat it with me. this friend in particular gave me a sex position calender with 365 different moves to try...thanks, ill have to get on that ASAP

oh, hey. just me and the fam eating dinner at our favorite restaurant Houston's on Kirby. i would highly recommend the french friends. they have been a staple carbohydrate in my diet since i was seven

This is friendship. this is every person you wish you knew and i was blessed enough to meet. i will miss my best friends so much, even though i know they are going to amazing places and will do phenomenal things in college. And though it is just for now, its time to say good bye....

EDIT: someone please note how i said i lived off "french friends" instead of "french fries" in the paragraph above. 

This Way to Freedom a.k.a. the first time i went clubbin'

there comes a point in every persons life, especially if you're eighteen, where you are forced with a decision: to waste your summer nights sitting at home watching shitty foreign flicks and noshing on 3 day old pizza...or to hit the clubs. 

Last night, i went on such an excursion and needless to say it was entirely worth it and not a moment was spent in regret. 

Here is my account of my very first night at my very first club and the knowledge i gained during that extraordinary evening. 

Rule #1: When it comes to picking a club, the sketch value shouldn't be much of an issue...but you might as well bring an male escort anyway. 

The gals and i went to a club in midtown called Rich's (sketch value (SV) about a 6) which is honestly a bit of a cliche, because almost everyone whos anyone who just turned eighteen goes there. Everyone there looked pretty young and the attire was a bit fancier than i would have expected. 

Which brings me to rule#2: don't be afraid to dress like a slut. Nobody will notice because every girl there dresses like that, too. i mean, there are girls in cages with nothing on but underwear. to you, your sexxXay mini skirt is so hawt you think it'll make all the boys wanna-make-love-in-the-club...to other girls, you may be wearing the same outfit they wore to church last easter. oh, and it may help you get in faster AND get in with a male escort even though they usually have to wait in line. So, upon entering Rich's and dancing for a few moments and wondering why nobody was asking me to dance, i found out about rule #3: Its better to take about 10-20 minutes of gal pal dance break time than to start grinding immediately because then you may A. get stuck with them the whole night or B. have your whole night be spent with multiple members of the opposite sex you've never met in your life instead of being able to get your groove on with your ladiez. Which leads me to the part of this story/lesson where i talk about dance partners. 

First up was Mr. Androgyny (SV about a 3...he was about 60% emo. so i mean, he'd sooner cut himself than cut me. granted, i'm only calling him this because of his hair, which was blond, but he was fo' sho rocking the long side bang. Anyway things were going just fine and dandy, until his friend decided to join in. 

on to, rule #4 Man Sandwiches should be avoided AT ALL TIMES.  mainly because they are awkward and i can't handle them. remember that although you may already look like a slut, you don't actually have to act like one. however, if you think you can hand it, go ahead. maybe you could have given me a few tips when i got stuck in such a position. and this is where i wished i would have known about rule #5 ahead of time. 

Rule #5: Have a code. make up something with your friends so that they know when to pull you out. for example: Girl A winks profusely at Girl B. Girl B then says something like, " I'm too scared to go to the bathroom alone. Come with me!" and then pulls Girl A along to the bathroom where they can both start laughing their heads off about whatever just happened.  I'm dead serious.  i wish we had created some sort of signal before we even entered the club because one of my friends got her neck licked...(which is a SV of about 10) Unless you very very obviously show sexual interest in the person you're dancing with, it is NEVER okay for them to place their saliva on any part of your body. which leads me to rule #6 Never be forced to dance with someone you really don't want to dance with. I, for example, don't like to dance with anyone who may have a drink in their hands. it may lead to spillage and/or trying to force-drink what ever beverage they may have in their hands down your throat. You never know if they may have slipped you a rufi. My friends and i also noticed that every guy also who had a beer and was dancing at the same time was completely ridiculous, rude, and had a SV of about 8-9. 

This rule also includes woman-on-woman action you'd rather not engage in. I'm starting to think that guys are starting to take that Kate Perry song too literally, or perhaps nobody's ever asked them to kiss a guy and there for they have no idea what it feels like to be pressured to doing anything sexual with a member of the same sex. 

This rule may also include anyone who looks too old or too young for you. For example, i chose not to dance with the 40ish looking man and my friend decided not to dance with the young lad who bore a striking resemblance to Mogley, from the jungle book. 

Of course, if you really do want to dance with someone, follow rule #7: make eye contact. thats how i got my chance to dance with Mr. Bollywood Superstar. (SV about a 5ish. points off because he was over 21 and you should always be slightly wary of older gentlemen. unless you're me and fancy older, indian men because you like to pretend you're bengali) It almost always works and lets them know you're interested. 

Last, but not least, rule #8: have as much fun as humanly possible. Clubs don't run 24/7, they've got to close at one point. so spend it all worth while. In the end, everybody goes home and does their own thing , whether its alone, with friends, or with whoever they may have randomly picked up on the dance floor. Once again, its your decision: to say goodnight to the place you lost your clubbing virginity to, or to say good morning to the early hours of the next day. Fortunately for me, i was able to do both. 

move it like that

tonight, i wanted a hot dog...but instead my mother, sister, and I piled in the car and drove to house of pies at midnight. and the pie was just as satisfying. 

if i really had to complain about one thing in houston, it would be the lack of good hot dog stations. like, you know how new york has papaya dog and chicago has super dawg? 

yeah, houston doesn't have those. 

otherwise, i've been taking my time in here and soaking up these last few days before i leave for college. 

today, i got a video message from my friends back in colorado, and i realized that i owed the internet-world a post. so heres, a re-cap of my last days in colorado. 

view from the mountain Station Eleven that i hiked. it was a nice 2 1/2 hours up and by then end of it i wanted to rip all my clothes off and run around naked...i think i was just crazy from the heat. 

smiilessss in the great american basin 

my best friends running through valleys

oh typical lake city. these sort of signs were in every store window. 

tiramisu....i could write a whole book on my love for tiramisu. i probably will. 

last, but not least. heres a little treat. i recently made myself a youtube account and decided that i might as well post videos on it. here's a vid of me singing cat power and playing guitar...mind you, i did mess up a few times, but i figured what the hell. if the comments suck, then i can always take it off. i really have nothing to lose...except, perhaps my dignity and a little self-confidence. 

rocky mountain wonderland

Word on the street is that more than two people read my blog, so i figured its time to update...and i've got good reason to.

Right now, I'm in Lake City, Colorado, which has 450 inhabitants year round so its really more of a village than a city. A friend of mine has a house here and a few of my friends and I decided to visit before we parted ways for college. Its beautiful and amazing. The best part of the trip (notreally) was seeing THE Heidi Montag at the airport in Gunnison. She lives in Crested Butte and Gunnison is the closest airport. I tried to get a picture, but she's famous for nothing so I didn't bother.
Here are some other highlights of the trip.

Its warm in the morning and cool in the afternoons and it always rains around noon-ish. Everyone wakes up around 8 and we all eat breakfast together. Here's a shot of my cereal...branflakes, kashii, and blueberries.
I started running again and now have a blister the size of north africa. its huge, i don't know how i'm going to hike with it. but i will find a way.
THE HILLS ARE ALIVVVEEEEEE!!!!!

Here's the fetus waterfall we hiked to.

And here's us rejoicing after our climb.

Here's the massacre sight of Alfred Packar, the infamous lake city cannibal. The ledgend goes that Alfred lead five people up the mountains and never returned. When the rescuers found him, the bodies of the other travellers were discovered with missing body parts and chucks bitten out of them.

Day two view from San Juan Vista.

There are lots of horse flies in lake city, so isabel figured the best way to get rid of them was the bug dance. i can't remember whether or not this was effective.

mmmmmmmmmmmm turtle cookie dough...need i say more? sometimes you have to reward yourself for being physically active with suger loaded desserts.

you've made your bed, now fuck in it

I used to take swim lessons in this pool when I was ten, now birds shit in it

And right now, a pool filled with bird crap makes perfect sense, as opposed to my life, which is not.

pigeons staring at suburbia through the fence. This is sort of the way I look at my surroundings everyday. The only thing I keep thinking about is leaving.

I leave for New York on Tuesday. There will probably be many posts and many stories to tell. I'm worried and a little scared. But I'm not sure why.
I've started seeing a new therapist, who i love. On our first meeting, she asked me if i trusted myself and my decisions....i don't. At the time, i really didn't know the answer. but the truth is, i don't. I believe in myself and trust in the future. but i don't trust myself.
I've lost control of most things in my life and now resort to trying to control other things and honestly, human beings.

On a brighter note, i am a weeds addict. this is a good thing, i promise. the new season starts tomorrow, so nobody bother me. i will be spending the evening packing, watching showtime, and freaking out over what happends to nancy and the gang.

in an endless summer...let me go waste my time

i wish this could be endless, because i don't know how long this will last and whether or not i will regret it.

its the summer between high school and college...and it scares me because i only have 3 more months to grow up.

The other night i stayed up looking through all the old boxes i have, full of papers, pictures, diaries, and mementos of my life over the past eight years. through middle school and highschool.

it was bizzarre and yet all i kept thinking was, "am i missing something?"

like some clue as to what to do with my life would suddenly pop out

June hasn't even really started, but I've been out for almost three weeks. no finals so to every underclasssman who reads this, "haha suckas!"

that was probably inappropriate.

Madonna Day. At my catholic high school, the day before graduation is called madonna day and its basically an awards ceremony. For the first time ever, I actually got two awards in digital photography and English 4. that was actually quite bizzare for me, because i almost never get awarded for anything involving academics.

The virgin mary ice sculpture was hands down the greatest part of madonna day...and thats including sister janes speech that included the theme song from friends and vitamin c's graduation. Here is a picture of danielle and i holding the frozen madonna's hands. i don't know where this ends up on the spectrum of sacreligiousness. I also don't understand how this ended up on the decoration committee's agenda...i can only imagine the administration being like, "And right next to the sandwiches, we should have a giant ice sculpture of the virgin mary! And about that cake..."

dont judge. the grad cap doesn't flatter anybody. and i added this only so i could prove i actually graduated.

Grad party! So, this is the giant $600+ pan of seafood paella that i ate. well, not all of it, but a good portion over the next 4 days it was in my fridge.

Souvlaki.... hot and roasting on the grill. this is what greek uncles from queens with lamb expertise are for.

when im not stuffing my face or graduating, i'm hanging with friends or working. my job at the museum ended (see end of the year picnic party pic above) so i figured i might as well make some money by finding another job. my friends were already working at the binkini store in one of our malls so i figured "why not?" to be honest, i'm not sure what i was thinking by getting into retail. i hate shopping and i hate hanging anything. But the job isnt half bad and even though i have to listen to rihanna and "make love in the club" and lil' wayne almost 10 times a day, i kind of like it.

NYU here i come....and yes, that is carrie bradshaw in the front seat of my race car...i mean, who else to better represent new york? and NYU violet? i think not...

I did see the movie actually, but only after sipping down martini's with my two aunts and getting someone's number from the bar. so thats one samatha jones point down. get me preggers and move me to brooklyn and then i'll be pulling a miranda.

valley of the dolls

its official. the banner in my bedroom says so

see you next fall in new york.

in the mean time, i'll be in texas, singing every simon and garfunkel song i know.

its been more than a month since i've last written, thats pathetic. so much has happened, but these last few months of highschool have literally flown by. SPEAKING OF FLYING, today was the senior style show. the theme was Wings to Fly. this is where my all girls highschool decides to dress everyone up in expensive outfits (and then you try and find out who has the most expensive dress) and makes you strut down a runway. i didn't fall, obviously, tyra and the ANTM crew taught me well.

models standing around to get their hair did

fabulously fabulous

my friends new hair cut. yes she's a real red head, and yes she's really that beautiful in real life.

PAT 'CHO WEAVE! okay...so its not a real weave....but literally everyone thought it was. i guess nobody noticed how long my hairs gotten over the past year. so i starting patting it and shit to make it seem more authentic. seriously though, people were coming up to me after the show saying, " wow! that fake hair looked great on you!"

PROM 2k8:Party Girls on the Go

sometimes, your best friends are the hottest people you know. so then, instead of a date, you just take all of them to prom with you...

in the greatest limo this world has ever seen! its hot pink and looks like something we stole out of libby lou and hannah montana might just be in the back seat...but it was glorious.